Bean Self-Feed Training Session (Fail)

I tried to make him learn to pick it up with his fingers. Then he outsmarted me by pulling my hand towards him.

Can't? Or not trying hard enough?

On Wednesday I was supposed to meet Lyndis and Kate, but I totally forgot about it even though she smsed me in the morning to remind me.

I've been slowly rotting into oblivion since I started my maternity leave. I have no idea what day it is, my mind is constantly in a screen saver mode. That's how I ruined my own birthday lunch, by arranging my kids to have tuition during lunchtime. I even gathered my family members to get ready to go, changed Bean and all. Then DING DONG, all my kids showed up.

ARGH.

Anyway I managed to meet K&L in the end, though I was 1 hour late. I only managed to see Lyn's message after my HOD called to tell me we got our Model Canteen Award. Then I saw her messages.

We met at Tea Dot @ Tamp 1 where we let our kids help the staff clean the floor.

We talked about our usual stuff but somehow the stuff we talked about never really left my mind after we parted ways. Firstly, it was how I was slowly rotting away at home. I've fallen into this routine of just waking up, feed Bean, change his diaper, brush my teeth, play with him for a while, feed him some cereal breakfast, feed him a small piece of fruit, shower him, play with him , feed him lunch, play with him , potty train him, let him take his afternoon nap, go play my computer games (Sims 3) until he wakes up, play with him, feed him some fruit, potty train him, dump him to my mom while I play somemore Sims 3 or go take a nap, eat dinner, play computer games or surf around the internet until about 11 or 12am, feed him one more time and sleep.

The whole routine is very damaging for the brain.

I was telling her how I really enjoy writing at leisure and how I used to have a popular blog. That was years ago. Where I had my own domain. Even way before grouchyteacher. My dream job is to be a pro-blogger. Where I write reviews for stuff and live off sponsorships and advertisers. Very much like dooce and karencheng. I used to write about the cosmetics I use, the computer stuff, software or hardware, games (I used to write game reviews for Starhub donkey years ago) and stuff around me in general. It's very bitchy but I'm often told I had this refreshing take in many things.

But.

That was in the past. Right now? I use Cetaphil to bathe, Searogenta-A cream for my eczema and Aqueous Cream as my moisturizer coz my eczema has caused me to have permanent red marks on my face. I hardly use make up mostly because of Bean and also because of my eczema. There are actually idiots who think I use red eyeshadow and didn't blend it properly. HELLO!?! Why would I use eyeshadow without anything else? or at least fill up my brows?

WHO in the right state of mind will put just ONLY eyeshadow on this kind of face?

I also told her how I had to close down the blogs because of issues like I how I always bitch about work, the people I work with, my mother in law. Some stuff cannot be shown to the public even though everyone knows about it. Like during one of the showdowns where she accused me of blogging about how she treats the maid. Well did I lie about it? Was what I wrote going to get arrested? She obviously doesn't feel appreciative that what I wrote about her was very mild. There are more unspeakable stuff that she does which can get her legally liable, but I didn't. Anyway, I told Lyn who that snitch was.

I also told her how much I missed playing computer games. In fact I got into a very emo state about this new MMORPG (Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Games) that was coming out about the time I plan to have my No. 2. I will have to give it a miss. I've been reduced to just playing Bejewelled on facebook and Sims.

If you are an MMO player, you'll know how much of a downgrade that is. I was whining to Shane. All he did was to stroke my hair and offer me some useless words of comfort about how he will create an alternate character to level up with my character if I were to play, so that I will not feel lonely that the rest of my bunch has already maxed out their characters.

That arse. Not only does he still get to spend the same amount of time on his computer even though Bean is out, he even has the cheek to post this up on facebook.

Hrmph.

Take that.

Oh well. That's my fault for being a woman I guess. For those of you lucky ones out there who have husbands to help, do not further rub it into my face by telling me that not all men are like that. Good for you ok?

I get very angry every time I see those ads about celebrating womanhood. Celebrate my ass. You see this?

Yep. I celebrate by cleaning this up every day.

Then Lyn also asked if I will send Bean to school. As in earlier. I told her I'll send him to a school only because I want to get rid of him for a few hours. Other than that I'm pretty chill about giving him that headstart in life. I told her at the end of the day, they take the same PSLE paper. They all study the same things in P1. Making him a Math Whiz or a linguistic expert will only make him bored in school. I mean if you've learnt everything at home already, why still go to school? Will I home-school him? No. I'm not Michael Jackson. I don't see the need for that. Unless he grows up to be like one of those Jonas brothers, which is highly unlikely I think.

While talking to her, I realized how much I love sharing about my job. As a teacher. Bitching about workload aside, I love telling parents how to go about the right way dealing to with local education system. I don't know how to describe this but I feel really good every time I see a child do well in school. It's a big part of why I love my job. I give tuition more because I love teaching rather than the money. I feel even better if I know I've contributed to the learning success of the child.

I'd love to teach Bean and his friends how to swim. I've been trained at NIE. I just feel it'd be sad if I only use the skills I have to teach my kids. Why not share it with others? Unless they want more professional and accomplished swimmers to coach their kids of course. Otherwise I'd be happy to offer my help.

Anyway, that conversation with Lyn got my thinking so much that I couldn't even add captions to the photo album in the facebook. I was just uploading the photos and thinking why I wasn't doing what I liked and what I've always wanted to do? Surely I can keep a blog going without bitching about everything? Maybe I just haven't tried hard enough?

In fact part of almost missing that meeting with her made me remember why I wasn't doing more house visits. So I went to her place the next day, since I was supposed to report to MIL for her visitation rights to Bean. Might as well drop by her place first to let Bean have some fun.

I love seeing how the two of them interact.

I should really pick myself up and stop the nua-ness. I'm setting my first milestone for the next decade.

To try to attain the status of a "pro" blogger.

I might not have the talent to write that well or the things I write about might not be original enough to attract that many readers. But at least I will know I've tried and failed. Nothing is worse that not knowing because you didn't try.

Help me out yah? Link me up in your blogs so that hopefully I might get more readership. Will put up a hit counter to track.

Hopefully in the future, if I am lucky, I might get an advert job for facial products, and transform myself back

from this to this

The Big 3 O

Today, I turn 30.

I'm satisfied with what I've achieved so far. I've got an apartment, I've got a stable job, I've got a really cute son (in my opinion), my bond with my family members are great, I've got a love-hate relationship with my man-child husband, who was the original, first, STOMP's coolest male teacher. I've hit the milestones I've set for myself and sort out whatever I've screwed up in the earlier part of my life. I'm happy.

Dearest Big-Guy-Up-There, here's a big shout out to you.

THANK YOU!

On the 6th, I wanted to go sevenatenine for a lunch unlimited. Then I shot myself in the foot by arranging for my tuition session to be at 11am. I totally forgot to re-arrange with my kids. So I had to look for high tea. It turned out all the nice places were fully booked! In the end, I had to settle for Goodwood Park. It was not bad, the array was very little but filling coz tonnes of bread. I guess it was the company that really made the day, not so much of the food.

This afternoon my mom cooked my favourite Mee Sua. It was the same mee sua she cooked for me during my confinement. I love it.

Then for dinner she bought salmon sashimi and cooked my favourite fried chicken wings.

Shane came home in the evening grinning from ear to ear. He bought me a Haagen Daaz birthday cake.

He also bought a gas lighter and shitloads of candles.

Then I realized the Haagen Daaz was just to neutral out my anger for this.

It was such a rare sight that my sis and dad could not help taking pictures of it.

There were so many candles that my mom had to take another gas lighter from the kitchen to help light up all the candles.

He calls it, the Inferno Birthday Cake (just like the one in Sims 3).

Then they all sang my birthday song happily and told me to make a wish quickly coz the heat was melting the ice-cream. Excuse me, but it's hard to think with so much heat in my face. In fact, when I blew the candle I was really afraid of my fringe catching fire.

Check out the insane amount of smoke!

Anyway, I had a great birthday. I'm really happy to be surrounded by the ones I love most. Imma start thinking of my next set of milestones for my next decade.

Bean DoesTwinkle

I really have to credit my mom. He only learns stuff from her. When I try to teach him new stuff he just crawls away. ARGH. Anyway she was the one who taught him how to do it.

I must do something about that short attention span of his.

Happy 9 Months

Dearest Bean,

Like any other monthly birthday, we celebrate it by giving you a jab on your butt. You'll learn to appreciate the jabs when you get older. We're grateful for them because it means that Gong gong can still play with you without worrying that he might spread the Hep B to you. Hopefully he's discharged soon because I can tell you miss each other a lot. You'll keep climbing to his room looking high and low for him. Thinking he's playing peekaboo with you, you'll hide behind the bed and do the peekaboo a few times, only to find that he's still not there. Soon, he'll be out soon. Then you have your 2nd favourite playmate.

Your favourite playmate is Ah ma of course. Mom's games are getting boring. Flying games which you used to love, are getting boring.

You're no longer as enthusiastic as before about flying. You let me amuse myself for a while before struggling to get down and go off elsewhere to do your stuff.

I'm glad I took leave this month. I love how you've grown more attached to me. Wanting me to carry you everywhere and wanting me to stay by you when you play. It's boring you know. You want me to sit beside you, but you play on your own. I try to interact with you but I'm ignored. Then when I walk away you complain and start following me, dragging your box of toys along with you. Basically you just demand that I sit there and watch you play. I cannot read magazines or do anything else other than look at you.

I think you might be getting a little lonely.

Daddy and I are working on giving you a lil bro or sister. Hopefully you'll have one next year.

Let's talk about your progress so far. You've been walking around with the walker but when I put you against the wall to try to walk to me without any aid, you sit down immediately, like a pussy. You used to be able to stand on your own, but perhaps you've knocked your head too many times and have grown more cautious. You decide not to try anything funny, even with me around.

I don't know if it's just coincidence or you seem to know that the bed is a safe place to fall, coz you'll only stand without assistance on the bed.

I can even encourage you to walk towards me on the bed. But if I dare try my luck on a solid surface, your legs will just fold underneath you immediately.

You've also become more drama, learning to cry for attention and to whine to get your way.

I've never taught you that. So I think you've gotten your drama genes from a certain female relative from your dad's side, specifically the ability to fake sadness and cry. It was cute at first. Now it's just irritating because it reminds me a lot of her. Please cut it out. Also, it makes you look like some wuss.

Other than that, you've been a darling. You're such a sweetie at restaurants. You'll usually entertain yourself and not bother us. There was this time you sat by yourself facing the window of Tony Roma's @Suntec. For an entire hour you sat there quietly while we ate. Every one was amazed.

You've also learnt to feed yourself. There was this time at Pu Tien when you ate your tofu perfectly without making a mess. You even held out the spoon to me for more. But that was the only time. Not sure if it's the Pu Tien spoon, the tofu, or just a coincidence. Subsequently after that, you started smearing food all over yourself. It's cute but very messy. I think I'll let you try it again later when you are more dexterous.

Talking about food, you've been eating a lot. I didn't know you actually drank more milk than the other babies until I met the "Octo-moms". Basically, you consume 3 full baby bowls of porridge, one whole fish, one whole fruit (apple, peach or pear) and 150ml x 4 of milk per day. That's a whole lot. We measured you today. 72 cm, nearly 8kg. Hmmmmm where did all those food go?

Maybe it's because you walk around all day long and you sleep very little. You tried "walking" around the bath tub so in order to stop you from moving around during bath time, I had to resort to restraining your movements by putting you in a pail.

You tried holding your breath and putting your head into the water but you never got past your nose. Your idea of holding the breath is stop breathing but keep your mouth open and keep drinking the water. Usually when I can't get you to drink enough water for the day, I'll put you into the pail. You get your daily 8 glasses this way.

You've also learnt to play the proper Peekaboo with the cloth.

That rocks, coz I'm running out of games to play with you.

You're growing too fast. When you were in my tummy it felt like the pregnancy was too long. Now that you're out, it's as if I'm breathless trying to catch up with the progress you're making everyday.

I finally understood why moms want to go on no-pay leave to spend more time with their babies.

I would if I could Bean. I really would.

Love,

Mom

Get well, Dad!!

God knew it was going to happen.

I applied to clear my maternity leave until the 17th July. I didn't really need it but I thought, might as well give mom a break and at the same time spend more time with the growing monkey. He seems to be more unfriendly towards unfamiliar people nowadays. Need to "imprint" my mom-status on him.

Mom noticed that Dad had been lethargic for a few days. Then his skin irritation had been going from bad to worse. He even took leave to see the doctor, who prescribed steroids for him. It was not like him because he was one person who never takes leave unless he's going for a holiday, or really sick. He was afraid his rashes would be passed to Bean so he actually went to check. Otherwise he would have just let it slide.

These few days he couldn't even sit properly to watch TV. He was just lying down on the sofa. He seemed very tired going after Bean too. Mom was nagging at me to nag at him to go to the doctor for another diagnosis. Then I noticed his eyes seemed quite yellow. He told me it's lack of sleep but I insisted he went to see the doctor.

Immediately my GP sent him to CGH for blood test and he was warded immediately. Seemed like his bilirubin level is X5 the normal. He was optimistic he would be discharged the next day and was telling us not to worry or bother about him. I wanted to switch him to a 4 bedder and in fact, transfer him to SGH but he didn't want to. He refused and kept insisting he was going to be fine. There were those old foggies reaching almost the end of the road sharing the same ward as him and they were everywhere. He was allocated the open ward coz there was a shortage of beds.

Then the doctor came and dropped the bomb. Dad's diagnosed with Hepatitis. They have to test him further to see the extend of damage to his liver. He would be warded for minimum a week.

This was when I marched to the admin and insisted he be shifted to the B1. Otherwise I'm getting a transfer to other hospitals. The doctor who was on shift managed to persuade me to let my dad stay at CGH.

I'm so grateful that God planned everything in such a way that I can now spend my leave taking care of my dad too. At the same time be there for my mom who is really upset about the whole thing. Despite things that happened between them, there's still a strong bond, especially after Bean came into the picture.

I'm now praying hard for his recovery and quick discharge. Somehow CGH didn't earn the "Hospital of Death" reputation from nowhere.

Please include him in your prayers too.

Get well Dad. You still haven't mastered the Easy up.

Shhhh... I don't know who she is

Heh. At least this was not taken by me. She was behaving like that the entire wedding.